Fortunately for me the date wasnt as bad as i had expected. It was actually a lot of fun. We ended up chattin for nearly three hours! We spoke about everything; friends, family, work, uni and dum dum dum past relationships. This is where the conversation took an awkward turn. He told me that he dated a non Jewish girl for a while, and this really bothered me. I then asked him if he would ever marry a non Jewish girl and he said yes, and this bothered me even more.

Later I thought about it more and realised I have to come to some sort of decision… How can I date someone who is willing to marry out of a religion that means so much to me? I wouldn’t consider myself extremely observant but I do keep Shabbat and Kosher and Judiasm means so much to me.

I know I give off a mixed impression because even though I do keep Shabbat and Kosher, I don’t dress in a way that mirrors my beliefs and I don’t learn enough about my religion anymore.

At the end of the date he asked if he could see me again and I said yes ( keeping to resolution no 3 ! ) The problem is I still don’t feel attracted to him! Not in the slightest! I really enjoyed hanging out with him and getting to know him but there were no sexual feelings whatsoever…but I guess attraction grows over time?

The question I’m asking myself is is this worth it?

-          Try and focus more on the positive

-          Let go and relax

-          Be more open to guys who are interested

You see in the past, whenever a guy was interested in me I would always push them away which resulted in me being lonely while my friends were all happily coupled up. Nigel told me “it will happen when you least expect it. Don’t expect anything and it will happen.” So that’s what I did, I didn’t expect anything on New Year’s Eve and something did happen. My friends and I went out for dinner and went from house to house finally stopping off at friend, Belindas boyfriend’s house. I was with my friends in the kitchen, meeting all of her boyfriends friends and getting to know them. Me and my friend Leanna went into the living room sat opposite a couple who were making out  and a guy sitting next to them. We got talking, Leanna ran off because she wasn’t so interested in what they had to say. I stayed, and got talking to the guy sitting next to them, music man. He was nice, and quite funny. I didn’t really think much of it, although i really did enjoy speaking to him. Leannas impatience was getting the better of her and she wanted to leave. So i said my goodbyes and went ot get my coat. Then some random guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if i was Chantalle, i replied saying yes and then he told me the people in the living room are calling for you. As i went inside hte guy who was continuously making out with his girlfriend asked if his friend – the guy i had been tlaking to – could have my number. I found the whole situation a bit awkward and his friend didn’t look very impressed. So i laughed it off and walked out. Then the guys girlfriend came out and asked me for my number, she said that music man was shy and did want my number.

Now usually, i would have said no and walked off, but seeing as only hours before i had vowed to be more open to interested guys i decided to take the chance and gave her my number to give to him.

The next day he txted me and we had been txting all weekend. He suggested going out for a coffee and tonight we’re going out on a date. To be honest, i feel quite nervous. You see, i really don’t like these formalities. I feel like im under pressure so make a good impression. I know i’ll be fine once i get there, but i still feel uneasy. To be honest, i don’t really have anything to worry about…we’re just going out to get to know each other. What’s the big deal…right?